I don’t know about any other parents, but one of the hardest aspects of parenting when my kids were little was Getting. Out. The. Door.

Shoes on. Coats on. Snacks? Diaper bag.

Favorite toy car? Grab the library books.

More snacks. My coffee - don’t forget the coffee.

Wait, the shoes are off again? Oh your toe feels funny in that sock? Sigh.

Where are my keys? No, your shoes are on the wrong feet.

Preschool started 2 minutes ago. Fantastic.

I mean. I’m not the only one, right?

Let me tell you, my mind was blown when my Music Together teacher Ms. Jenny suggested we try singing through these moments - the various transitions we go through during the day with our kids. In the midst of singing, playing, and watching my kids naturally move their bodies to the music, I grabbed onto this tidbit and decided to try it.

We started dancing to get dressed. I sang about our shoes. We clapped our hands and stomped our feet before rushing out to the car. Were we still late sometimes? Oh my goodness, yes. But was it more fun? Resounding YES.

Now that I’ve been a Music Together teacher for over a decade, I know more about the method behind this musical magic. Turns out there is a specific area of our brain that lights up when music is heard - we literally cannot ignore it. Our brains won’t let us. Research also shows that it does not matter how “good” your voice is, because your voice is the most important sound to your child. It’s the act of singing that gets the brain to tune in, not the quality of the sound.

So when it comes to parenting tips and tricks, the one I share (and use) the most is - add MUSIC.

For example: getting in the car seat isn’t every little one’s favorite activity - so try singing a song to distract their attention.Make up your own, or use a tune like “The Wheels on the Bus” and change it to “The seatbelts in the car go click,click,click!” Keep doing it and eventually the song becomes the focal point of your interaction around the car seat. You’ve created a new, fun ritual that hopefully makes getting into the car seat a little easier for everyone!

Or what about those toddlers who need to wiggle and wriggle and stand up and move around during outfit changes? Add music! Turn “Head, shoulders, knees and toes (knees and toes)” into “It’s time to change your clothes (change your clothes)” and see what happens. Maybe you can sing “Pants go on down below (down below)” and “Shirts go over your nose (your nose)” - or make up your own ideas!

There is an abundance of research that supports using lullabies as a transition into rest and sleep. I can honestly say that learning lullabies changed my life as a parent. And now I know why: when we sing lullabies, we increase our production of oxytocin - the same bonding hormone that is released during breastfeeding, incidentally - and our cortisol levels decrease. We get a hit of dopamine, and just feel better. We also feel closer to each other, which holds true for both the singer and the child. Lullabies and other intimate songs also support a child’s developing self-regulation skills: singing together helps both grownups and children to control their energy level, motions, urges and behaviors, and eventually leads to self-soothing through music. Do you have a little one who hums or sings to themselves before falling asleep or just after waking up? That’s self-regulation in action! And if your kid isn’t singing to themself yet - come join a class. It’ll happen!

Now that my kids are older, we still sometimes struggle with getting out the door on time - but for different reasons than when they were little. Now it’s more my fault than theirs (where IS my coffee?)! And even though they are teens, I still sing to them, despite the eye rolls. I still do silly dances when we unload the dishwasher to grab their attention and make us laugh. And you can bet, even though feet are stinkier and the limbs are longer, I will sing lullabies to my kids as long as they ask for them.